I like to think that Leslie Knope and Midge Maisel would have been friends — really good friends. You know, the kind of friends that do everything together: get their nails done, go shopping and dish about their most recent relationships (starting a petition to have more Zachary Levi on my TV screen).
And they would especially be the type of friends that call each other up on one of the best holidays of the year: Galentine’s Day.
With Valentine’s Day approaching and, consequently, Galentine’s Day (February 13), I sat down to think about how exactly Midge Maisel would spend the “this day is for the girls” holiday if 1950s Manhattan was transplanted into the New York City of 2019 (where people walk their dogs in strollers and actually spend quality time with their children … by choice).
First and foremost, Susie — whom I am subbing for Leslie Knope since she exists in Midge’s universe — would love this day. She may pretend like it is too good for her, too commercialized and a waste of time, but she would love it because she loves Midge. Plus, she hates Joel (as we all do), and what better day to celebrate his uselessness?
So, read on for exactly how Midge and Susie would celebrate one of the most epic holidays to hit our calendar yet.
A morning at the makeup counter…
As we all know, Midge loves the makeup counter. She might (she probably does) love the makeup counter more than she loves her own children. With the perfect eye for colors that enhance natural beauty, Midge is a star. And, quite frankly, she has no time for this “KonMari Method” sweeping the nation. Throwing away makeup should be a crime!
Susie, however, is the last name we think of when we hear the phrase “makeup counter.” But for her client — and after much chagrin — she gives into the makeover. Well, she lets Midge add some blush, but that is as far as she goes! The real horror? Midge has this idea to try a new facial where they slap your face. Susie, scoffing, says she has been slapped in the face more than enough times and never saw “radiant skin.” Watching Midge get her face molded and sculpted is cringeworthy.
Followed by a shopping spree with Rose.
As we learned before their trek to the Catskills, the Maisel girls love to shop. And what a better excuse to treat yourself than Galentine’s Day? After an excruciating (for Susie) and thrilling (for Midge) makeover, the girls head to meet Rose for a full afternoon of shopping. Midge picks up some new hats and one of these bullet journals she keeps hearing about in an attempt to organize her life that’s in shambles, which she has recently learned, and reveled in the fact, is accepted in 2019. She also plans to use it to jot down jokes and track her laughs.
Rose stocks up on the newest Parisian styles — just in case. As for Susie? She walks away from the excursion with a shiny, new plunger. Some things never change.
A Ladies’ Night comedy gig at The Gaslight.
If there is one thing Midge does best, it is stand-up. Susie, finally in her element after spending the day with Midge, shuts down The Gaslight for a Ladies’ Night Only show, aka no Joel, no Benjamin, no Lenny Bruce. And absolutely no cell phones — one thing Susie and Midge can agree on (Midge is wary of blue light causing wrinkles).
Filled to the brim with gals celebrating their own Galentine’s Day in similar fashion, Midge knocks it out of the park with her best show yet — these ladies can really relate to her marriage woes (the left swipes are especially upsetting) and fear that her kids might not turn out just right. And no, after much debate she does not invite Imogene or Rose as it would ruin the day for them. But, the 14th is fair game …
Wrap it up with a midnight snack.
No girls’ night is complete without a bottle of wine and a sleeve of cookie dough (I know you all do this). And while Midge may not be the straight-from-the-bottle type of gal (or is she?), I have a feeling that she would never turn down a good meal — forget the gluten-free bread (she can’t believe it is even on the menu), the dairy alternative (just drink the milk, she says) and this green matcha that everyone is so obsessed with (everyone can see it is green, right?!).
Midge favors the classics. Which is why her Galentine’s Day would almost certainly end with a late-night dinner in her favorite booth at the Stage Deli — no boys allowed. And, as the night turns into morning, she enters Valentine’s Day with Susie by her side. How 2019 of her.