The energy of the new year brings with it a slew of ambitious resolutions (the most common: to get healthy), but the amount of people who actually stick to them? Around 9%. “Resolutions are garbage,” says executive coach Keren Eldad. “What we all want is to transform our essence. What’s it going to take to really show up in our lives? How can I meet myself at my next level?”
From vision boarding to manifestation, leveling up is always the goal, but in a holistic way that improves our entire lives. For 2023, try these surprising tips from professional coaches who’ve helped everyone from fashion designers to C-suite executives become their best selves.
Meet the Experts
1. Lose the Hustle
Hustle culture is everywhere these days, but executive recruiter and career coach Agathe Lerolle believes the constant grind to optimize is what can lead to burnout. “This idea of optimizing your life can become about controlling agendas and outcomes and that is when things can get distorted,” she says. “Optimizing in the hustle culture is only about adding more. We already have so much on our plate. More effective is to let go of what no longer serves you.”
Eldad adds, “I want people to challenge themselves to not just get stuff, to get goals, but to become something new. It’s about being, not doing.”
“We’re human beings, not human doers,” says Lerolle. “We need to be more in spaces of joy, intention, imagination and inspiration.”
2. Look Back to Move Forward
While goals are all about moving forward, there’s no progress without looking back at what’s held us back. “People who look ahead without assessing the bottlenecks and repeating patterns from the past will keep getting stuck,” says Eldad. “It’s like bringing an expensive, magnificent new rug into a dirty house. All the dirt will seep through.”
“Humans don’t love change. Our brains are built to be the most efficient so we do things on repeat,” Lerolle explains. “Loving awareness lets you see when you do things the same way — your habits and conditioning — and understand why. There’s safety, security, and nostalgia in doing things the way you always have, but with awareness you can decide what you want to keep because it serves you, and what you take away because it doesn’t.”
3. Choose One Goal and Really Feel It
We all have things we want to manifest — a new job, a new relationship, a new body — but goal-setting needs to get specific. Eldad has her clients write down one focused goal. “It’s radical to choose one goal, but a typical mistake is when people have seven different goals,” she says. “We’re not built for that level of focus and activity. Our energy and focus are finite.”
Eldad believes choosing the number one thing that will make the most difference for you in the next year will not only be more manageable to achieve, it will make an enormous difference in the other areas of your life. “Let’s say you’ve been single for years and it’s not working for you. Once you focus on that goal and resolve this, you’ll see how having a supportive partner makes such a difference in the rest of your life.”
After choosing your goal or intention, Lerolle wants you to add emotion to it. “What’s that feeling when you have an intention of being healthier?” she asks. “It’s not about going to the gym. It’s about being strong to take my kids on hikes, to feel more supple, and what does suppleness feel like? It’s stability, lightness, movement. Nurture that feeling and then take action.”
Even if it’s a micro-action, coupled with the energy and emotion that fuels your vision, it will bring you closer to manifesting your goal.
4. Create an Alter Ego
Just like Beyoncé created Sasha Fierce for her uninhibited stage persona and Kobe Bryant became the Black Mamba on the court, Lerolle suggests creating your own alter ego that embodies the energy of your vision. You may not naturally be someone who takes no prisoners in life and love, so channel Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow and see how powerful it makes you feel.
“Choose people who inspire you, who you aspire to be, that have something you want to emulate in your life,” suggests Lerolle. “That energy doesn’t even have to be human. I’ve had clients who want the energy of a tree or a certain tarot card. I choose a new one every six months. My energetic alter ego used to be a hummingbird and now it’s a mama bear.”
Eldad definitely believes in mentors who embody what you want: “If you want to be rich, talk to someone rich. If you want to be an entrepreneur, talk to someone who’s built a 7-figure business.”
To that end, both Eldad and Lerolle have online workshops to help you clarify your goals for 2023:
- Lerolle’s Vision Card Workshop is an hour long and designed to help you plan and fuel the next six months.
- Eldad’s Annual Planning session will help you come up with action ideas for 2023. It’s available until the end of January.
Welcome 2023 with Beauty Staples You’ll Love
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