Can we all in unison agree that baths are a strange concept? While there is nothing I love more than an elevated nighttime ritual, bathing is quite literally hell on earth for me. Steeping like a human tea bag is just something I cannot get behind (or in).
Comfort, on the other hand, is my number one priority in life, the main factor I take into account when making any decision — even my outfits. Which is why I often find myself in athleisure clothes. You know athleisure, the art of wearing workout clothes all day long without ever working out.
But then, I heard about bathleisure. The Cut coined the term in 2017 after Rihanna’s Vogue Paris cover in which she wore a hair towel. Bath-accessories as day wear? Count me in. I have a great collection of terry cloth hair turbans and robes at home. Although, it seems to me that the trend is rooted in something more than simply enjoying the plushness of clothing reserved for damp bodies.
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It’s not 2 but 3 covers this December… consider it a Christmas gift! Here shot by Juergen Teller, our special guest editor pairs it right back for her third cover. Letting her natural beauty speak for itself, it’s original Rihanna. Three covers, one star. Shot by Juergen Teller, styled by Anastasia Barbieri, hair by Yusef Williams, makeup by Yadim, nails by Maria Salandra. #RihannaxVogueParis #JuergenTeller @badgalriri #AnastasiaBarbieri @yusefhairnyc @redhotnails #yadim
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Homebodies are having a moment with the growing rise of services that make it so you never have to leave the comforts of home. Millennials really love staying inside all day, whether it be planting an indoor garden, binge-watching “Stranger Things” or — and I hate to admit it — taking a long bath.
Which got me thinking: could I extend the idea of bathleisure past plush robes and into an actual bath? Maybe this is what I needed to fall in love with the pastime that celebrities like Emma Watson, Tom Ford and Oprah love (they have all said that they take multiple baths a day).
“Bath People” always seem to have their life together, and bathleisure really elevates the whole process. For that reason alone, I will make it my life’s mission to become one.
According to my coworker, the only reason I don’t enjoy baths is because I am “doing it wrong.” I ask her for advice, and she starts off by mentioning that she is a Cancer rising, which makes her well acquainted with water. I deeply sigh before asking her what I need to buy, as materialism is how I begin all of my escapades.
First, I order the iconic wooden bath tray splashed all over my Instagram feed. It has space for your wine glass, thriller novel, iPad and all of your favorite summer candles. I also purchase three various bath bombs and a bubble bath wand. Bring on the leisurely stress relief!
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My first bathing attempt goes poorly. I overheated the water and am slightly uncomfortable the first few minutes. A very Goldilocks moment as I try to find the temperature of water that is “just right!” I forgot to turn the lights off, which means I either get back up and awkwardly jog over to the switch, or ignore it. I choose to ignore it, which ruins the aesthetic vibe I was going for. After five minutes of this, I decide that I am far too bored to remain in the tub any longer. Also, where on earth do I place my hands to prevent them from getting wet?
The next day I decide to try again. I am going into this undertaking with a warrior mindset. I place my speakers an adequate distance from the tub and turn on a spa music playlist. I was careful with the water temperature this time and a cool glass of water is within arm’s reach in case I overheat. To prevent boredom, I turn on Jada Smith’s “Red Table Talk” on my iPad. While this is mildly soothing, my mind begins to wander then trickles into panic. I am not someone who can be left alone with my thoughts for too long as I am a chronic overthinker. When clumsily getting out of the tub, I knock over the two candles I had placed onto my tray and hot wax spills everywhere. I am not able to explain how this happened, but sadly it did, and now I have to deep clean my tub. Which was already necessary because no one tells you that buying bath bombs on sale from a clothing store will leave a strange pink residue in your tub. Later, I realize that my speakers also got wet in the process and they no longer work.
I texted this story to a friend, to which he replied, “Can you imagine getting electrocuted listening to “Fireflies” by Owl City?” I “haha” the message even though I am not feeling so haha in the moment.
It only took two failed attempts for me to decide that this is not something that works for me — even with a trendy name applied in an attempt to mask the simplicity of a bath. But until I decide to brave the tub again, I am going to stick with the far superior option of sitting down in the shower — the ultimate panic position.
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