Being a mom is hard. Building a career is hard. Keeping up with housework is hard. Now, figuring a way to balance all of the above while somehow finding the time to keep yourself in one piece is near impossible. With only so many hours in a week, finding ways to be more productive in all aspects of your personal and professional life is key. But the truth is, nobody knows what you’re going through, so when they give you advice like, “sleep when the baby sleeps,” it can feel more discouraging than helpful. Luckily, we know a few moms that understand what it’s like to build a career and a family simultaneously — and they keep it real, to boot. Ahead, their best tips for a productive work-life balance.
Rachel Zeilic, VP of Influencer Marketing at Who What Wear, Founder of Augie Club
“My number one tip is just to be fully focused on what you’re doing. If you’re at work, be 100% focused on work and try not to think about your baby (which, I know, is easier said than done). If you have access to childcare, it’s better to do fewer hours of work with childcare than trying to juggle working from home and taking care of a baby at the same time. When hanging out with your kids, put your phone away, and don’t be distracted trying to answer emails or work calls. It’s better for your kids to have less time with you, where you are giving them your undivided attention, than more time with you where you are stressed and distracted.
I feel like mom guilt is just a part of motherhood. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever overcome it; I just try to accept it as natural. Almost all moms feel it about something or another. I try to focus on the positive things my children get by having a hard-working mom, like seeing a mom who is independent and has her own passions and interests. This is especially important as I have two boys, and they get to see a good example of the balance of roles and responsibilities between genders in our house. And even though selfishly I’d love to be their everything, I also think it’s good for them to learn from other people such as preschool and a nanny. My two-year-old is fluent in Spanish because of his nanny. I feel that is a gift that I couldn’t give him. Just focus on the positive really and try to be present when you are with your babies.”
Stephanie Montes, Founder of Nue, Fashion and Beauty Editor
“While I need to get better at taking my own advice, the best recommendation I have for moms is to accept help when needed. I feel my best when my baby and my husband are happy, my home is in order, and I’m thriving at work, but the truth is, it can feel impossible to check all my boxes alone. In the beginning, I had a hard time dropping off the baby with grandma. I felt like if I was home (albeit working), I should be with my child. But it got to the point where I was constantly trying to put him down for naps so I could get work done, and when he was napping, my to-do list was too overwhelming to focus on any specific task. Then, since I got nothing done during the day, I would stay up all night working and straightening up the house, and by the time I went to bed, it was time for another feed. I was spreading myself too thin, and it became mentally and physically exhausting. I wasn’t giving my best self to my husband or my baby, and it was frustrating.
I’ve since created a ritual of waking up early and cuddling my baby every morning. If needed, I drop him off at grandma’s, come home and focus 100 percent on work, clean up a bit, and his dad picks him up on his way home from work. When they’re home, I get to spend more quality time with both of my boys. The house isn’t as organized as I’d like it to be, and I work evenings from time to time, but allowing myself to ask for help has made me happier, healthier, and more present. Even supermoms can’t do it all.”
Ayana Lage, Lifestyle Blogger, Ayana Lage
“I assumed that once I got done with maternity leave, I’d feel ready to return to work and conquer the world, but that wasn’t my reality. I also found myself less interested in working around the clock or taking on nights and weekends because I’d rather be at home with my daughter.
I used to feel terrible about leaving my daughter with my husband or my mom, but I assumed that the guilt was unavoidable. Then it hit me that my husband hasn’t ever asked about dad guilt. It was incredibly freeing to realize that I have an equal, capable partner, and we both deserve to be successful in our respective career fields. If anything, I sometimes feel bad for not feeling more guilty, which is just proof that the cycle never ends.
The best advice I can give is to adjust your expectations. Your output might change after becoming a parent, even if you have help taking care of your baby. It took me months to get back to the level of productivity I was at pre-pregnancy, and I think that that’s normal.”
Jen Betts Conroy, President of Innovative PR, CEO of Innovative Beauty Co., CO of Partner Family Practice Medical Services Inc.
“‘Putting the priority into perspective’ is my daily mantra. If I know it is a day I will be at the office from 8 am to 10 pm, I make sure there is support for my family, childcare, food is made, etc. However, more importantly, I will make that time up to kids and family the next day, like work from home, but make sure the kids are the priority at that time.
Being a working mom is not at all what I thought it would be. There are way too many emotions. I watched my mother when I was growing up and wondered how she did it all, and now I get it… with a lot of help, and, of course, drive. If you want it, you will make it happen and get it done. However, now that it is my turn, I just have so many emotions about it. I literally go back and forth about the pros and the cons. I have worked hard, and I’m finally where I want to be in my career, but man, I sure feel like I am missing out on all the little things as they grow up. Is working and crushing it at what I do even worth it with time going so fast? I wonder if I’m not teaching them all the perfect fundamentals of being a mom because my time is split. But to my testament, I will say this: I worked hard to be where I am, and I did this for me, my future, my family — thus, I am self-fulfilled, and one day I hope each child can see that, understand it, live it, love it, and pass it down from generation to the next. That hard work is personal, self-accomplishing, and gratifying, and I want to instill that into them.
My parents worked insistently, but I remember my father made it a point to take us away twice a month, even if it was 24 hours at a hotel down the street. He did this because even though it was not a far commitment, it was a commitment, and he was committed at that moment. To me, I was lucky. I plan to continue this action for my three.”
Andreea Gaul, Influencer, Simply Andreea
“Being a working mom is so much harder than I thought it would be! My gosh! I never knew the word busy until I became a mom. Time your work schedule around your baby’s nap schedule. Have your computer charged and ready to go so when her eyes close, you can start to work.”
Priscila Martinez, CEO, and founder of The Brand Agency, Vicaria Multicultural Agency, and 1795 Communications
“In order to be productive at work, I need to make sure time with my baby is prioritized. If that means waking up a few hours earlier because I know I’m going to have a packed day, and I won’t be able to spend much time with him otherwise, so be it. I also make it a priority to be there for his bedtime routine. Keeping him as a priority in my day makes it so that I can focus when I’m away from him.
Being a working mom is nothing like my expectations pre-baby. We get fed images of the women ‘doing it all’ constantly. Just one scroll down Instagram — and images of a perfectly coiffed mom with a perfectly dressed baby posing in their spotless home — is enough to make you insane. I’ve come to learn that being a working mom is nothing like what we see in the media, and that’s totally ok. There are days I’m on Zoom with spit-up on me and other days where I manage to get in a workout and feel productive. All you can do is count the little victories and be grateful for them. If you had told me two years ago I would consider having time for a workout a success; I would’ve said you got the wrong girl. But alas, this is how things are now, and I wouldn’t change the world for my little guy.
A part of motherhood I was totally unprepared for was mom guilt. None of my career-minded friends who had babies before me ever mentioned the phenomena, and naively, I had no idea how powerfully mom guilt would impact me. You hear about all other sorts of post-baby emotional stress, but working-mom guilt is something I don’t think we discuss enough. It doesn’t help that I come from a traditional Mexican background where being a stay-at-home mom is the norm. There are days that I am overcome with crippling guilt about having to spend significant time away from my baby during the day to get my job done. I need to constantly remind myself that I’m a happier human and hence, a better mom if I challenge myself through my work. I also need to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with pursuing a career after my baby. It becomes an even tougher pill to swallow when you realize our male counterparts don’t even have a term coined for daddy guilt. They get to leave for work and feel perfectly fine about that decision. They aren’t constantly asked by their co-workers, friends, and colleagues what it’s like to leave a baby at home or if they are planning to pursue a career after.”
